What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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