No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Randomize
