At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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