"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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