The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
