I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
