Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
