omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
In other news, I just burned my penis
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
