I wanna bring you to show and tell
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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