im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize