I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
