Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
