Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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