Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
