Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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