I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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