somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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