Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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