You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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