Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
