Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
