I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
