We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
