I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
