i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
this just has baby written all over it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
