I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
