What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
