it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
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Kings cup with teenagers tonight
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.