the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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