at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All the doctor said was why
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
