Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
