I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
