Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
