hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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