what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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