Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you never un-have a 4some
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
