Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize