So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
