She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
