Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
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He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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