Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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