Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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