i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish they made helmets for livers.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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