i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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