You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
