I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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