Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
