yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
