we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
