carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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