...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
