Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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