It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
