i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
