You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
