This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
