I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
