I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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