fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
