Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
did you just send me my own nude
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
