so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We had to coat check the pizza.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
