Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
