How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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