im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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