It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
